The Wrong Trousers

in Trouser

For a significant number of women, jeans are THE wardrobe staple. Oy vey, if I had a pound for every instance I was told ‘Most days I just wear jeans and a t-shirt’, well… Put it this way, that ultra-contemporary city centre apartment would have found its way off my vision board by now.

I find that once an item becomes imbedded in your wardrobe as jeans have, it is then difficult to change your shopping habits even when you are completely and utterly fed up of wearing the same clothing day in, day out.

Consequently, for a garment as popular as jeans, a good number of women leapt at the possibility to embrace something new with the rebirth of skinny jeans (an 80’s classic), followed by leggings and then the creation of abhorrent jeggings. But I certainly noticed, as I’m sure you did too, that these skin-tight styles didn’t suit the more womanly physique.

In actual fact, I was encouraged to write this newsletter by a close friend of mine (who happens to work for a mammoth international clothing retailer) having her noticed the pitiable selections ladies were making when it came to their trousers.

And so ladies, I make it my mission to educate women nationally, internationally and possibly globally into wearing truly tremendous trousers.


Originally made early 19th Century for the US Navy as the splayed design allowed sailors to easily roll the trousers above the knee while scrubbing the decks, and remove them quickly if washed overboard or to abandon ship if need be.

Today the style reflects a more recent period- the 70’s, with trousers reaching their wide bell-bottom proportions by about 1975. However given another decade perhaps we will consider bell-bottoms a signature piece for the current era, as they have burst back onto the style scene as one of the emerging trends this season. But who can wear such a bold design?

For any ladies with huge breasts suspended unsteadily above endless legs with slim hips these are the trousers for you. Given the extreme flared style, trousers like this will help detract from your bust, balance your frame and make you appear less likely to topple over on account of the sheer weight of your breasts. Plus they add some much needed shape to your legs and are easily worn by all ages.

Skinny Fit

It’s here, it’s there, and it’s everywhere! Nowadays skinny fit is recognized as the style to wear. But in my gospel these trousers/ jeans should be worn exclusively by those lucky enough to possess feline hips, particularly if your torso is somewhat shapeless, as the style with exaggerate what little curves you have.

What I cannot bare is curvaceous women donning these ever-so-admirable trousers in place of less popular styles (even those that may be more flattering), spurting absurd utterances like “they are the ‘in’ thing”, “they are on trend”, and especially my pet hate “you know what they say, ‘No pain, No gain”- absolute drivel!


Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed the modern day woman’s aversion to wide-legged trousers? Yet for many body shapes (especially women with child-birthing hips and thighs or saddlebags) this timeless style works unparalleled wonders.

Unlike skinny jeans or slim fit styles, wide-legged trousers are made to disguise, and so the key to success is getting a pair that skim over the widest part of your leg- your thigh.


By far one of the most recognizable fashions of the 70’s, early decade and a statement piece of the current season, slightly flared trousers add a little shape to otherwise formless legs. A slight flare or bootcut style will also serve you well in your battle to garner attention away from your hips, thighs and bottom.

Slim Leg

There are women on this planet (and maybe this is you) who have always considered themselves to be a traditional hourglass, but unlike the modern day Monroe’s of this world you have a long waist and surprisingly slim legs, and so your elongated body seems to reject conventionally feminine clothing.

For you slim leg trousers will sufficiently flaunt your legs, while cleverly giving just enough room to encase your womanly hips.


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Luke Sutton has 6 articles online

by Luke Sutton, Image Consultant, Personal Shopper & Stylist-

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The Wrong Trousers

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This article was published on 2011/04/22